YOUR SOUL MATE
Turn in your Bible to Psalm 65:4 (the New King James Bible).
It says, “Blessed is the man you choose and causes
to approach you. That he may dwell in your courts and shall
be satisfied with the goodness of your house”
Pastor T. D. Jakes made a statement once that was morbid
but SO true! He said that when choosing a mate, you need to
ask yourself whether or not that person is the one you would
want to hold your hand as you are lowering your parents’
bodies into the grave for the last time. That is serious.
Meditate on that for a few seconds. Your entire perspective
in term! Is of what you are searching for in a mate should
be based on that one question.
Are you dating?
Think about your boy/girlfriend. Is he (she) seriously
the one you would want holding your hands during the darkest
hours of your life?
Look even deeper.
Is your present boy/girlfriend the type who would offer
you assistance during the time of grief?
Unbelievably, there are numerous men (women) out here
who offer absolutely NO comfort to hurting women (men).
And no, it does not matter whether they are married to those
women (men) or not! I wish you could see some of the personal
letters this site receives from married people.
Yes, some of them are happy, praise God! However, the ones
who are not happy are miserable. There are no in between.
Either you are happy in a marriage or you are not.
There are married women (men) writing saying their husbands
(wives) never show authentic affection towards them,
never offer expressions of love for them. That is real.
Because it is so real, God desires that women (men) are exceptionally
careful when choosing a mate. Notice I did not say that women
(men) should FIND a mate! I said, “Choose.”
There is a huge differen! ce.
Turn in your Bible to Proverbs 18:22. It says “that
He who finds a wife finds a good thing” Interpretation:
MEN find women. Women should not be out trying to find a man!
HOWEVER, once found, the woman can then choose to be with
the man or to wait to be found by a different man.
WHAT TO LOOK FOR WHEN CHOOSING A MATE:
Proverbs 20:6 states, Who can find a faithful man? The fact
that the question is asked is indicative of the fact that
there are not many faithful men out there. However, there
is good news. The good news is that JESUS knows where the
faithful men are!
Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary offers several
excellent definitions of the word faithful:
FAITHFUL:
(a) Steadfast in affection or allegiance (b) Loyal (c)
Firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty (d)
Conscientious
The scriptures say that a faithful man is difficult to find.
God is saying that it is hard to find a man (woman) with the
qualities in letters a, b, c, and d. However, wouldn’t
you love to have a man (woman) with the qualities listed
above? They are rare. But GOD knows where such men (women)
are located.
Turn in your Bible to Ephesians 5:23. Scripture states,
for the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head
of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let
the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the
church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify
and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. That
He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having
spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be
holy and without blemish.
STOP! Now go back and re-read that passage. God is offering
us a blueprint on what to look for in a mate. Let’s pick
that scripture apart.
1. The husband is head of the wife. That means that you need
to choose a man who is born-again. He also needs to be a man
under whose authority you will feel comfortable submitting.
It is dangerous to submit to the authority of a man who is
not saved or who does not have a relationship w! ith God.
Wives you don’t need to live with husband’s that
treat you like dirt and expects that you must still obey
them.
2. The husband must love his wife as Christ loves the Church.
That is a tough one! Look at the degree to which God loves
His Church! He died for the Church (the entire body of Christ).
How does God love us? He is kind, patient and nurturing to
the Church. Those are the qualities you need to search for
when determining who to marry.
3. The husband must sanctify, cleanse and wash his wife
with the Word of God. Again, only a born-again man can wash
you with the Word of God. Think about the dating ritual.
Boy meets girl, they date, start to care deeply, and the
subject of sex pops up.
Question: HOW will the man handle it? God says that it is
the responsibility of the man to see to it that he presents
a woman clean and holy. If he is fornicating with her, how
can he present her as clean and holy? Sex outside the marriage
bond is dirty. Therefore, if you find yourself with a man
trying to for! nicate with you, you have the wrong man.
God says that He presents the Church (His Bride!) without
spot, wrinkle or blemish. Your future husband must present
you at the altar without spot, wrinkle or blemish. This
is important. Please listen so that you don’t end up
miserable.
BECOMING ONE:
In Ephesians, 5:31 the scripture states that, For this
reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined
to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a
great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church…
God hates divorce. However, He also hates abuse. God does
not want you physically or mentally abused. He certainly
does not want you disrespected by a man (woman) committing
adultery against you.
Too many women (men) in this country, in their quest for
a mate are settling with people who are not worthy of them.
The reason so many people are in unhappy marriages is that
t! hey latched onto the wrong person to please society,
family or friends. Now they are stuck with a mean, unaffectionate,
or abusive mate. It is not too late for you. If you pick the
right mate from the beginning, you will not end up hurt and
miserable (divorced).
Listen carefully, GOD says that when you marry, you become
ONE with that person. God no longer sees you as separate,
but He sees you and your mate as ONE person. We cannot fully
comprehend it because God says! it’s a great mystery!
Think about your boy/girlfriend.
Do you see yourself becoming ONE with them? If you have problems
after marriage it’s because something was broken
before marriage (that was obviously ignored). If you do
not have a boy/girlfriend yet, GREAT! Now you know what
to look for! Too many people are getting married multiple
times. God is not pleased with that. He sees it as adultery.
It is His will that we marry once, create a f! amily with that
one person, and be happy …
ecstatic
in that marriage. The scriptures also states, the man shall
leave his parents.
Check out the family of the man that you are considering
marrying! Are they always leaning on him, trying to borrow
his money? Are you in agreement with them always calling
him to the house to take care of their personal problems?
Guess what? It will not end after marriage.
If he is giving them money now, he will continue after marriage.
If his family is leaching off of him now! they will after
marriage. The question is, can you handle it? If not, now
is the time to discuss the problem. Don’t wait. Too
many men refuse to leave their father and mother. Too many
women refuse to leave their parents. Extended families
are famous for breaking up marriages.
NOW is the time to get the problems straight. Finally, how
attracted are you to your future spouse? Please do not marry
if there is a shadow of a doubt that you are totally attracted
to them physically. Too many women lose their husbands
because after marriage they stop having sex. The reason
many women stop having sex is because their husbands are
cold, rude and abusive. If you are married to a man who has
the qualifications of the “faithful man” listed
above in this article, you will be attracted to him forever,
emotionally and physically! Women who do not want sex with
their husbands are women who married the wrong man.
PLEASE ladies; do not marry the wrong man. Wait. In Solomon
3:4, it is said, I found him whom my soul loves. The reason
she found the one whom her soul loves is that she was PATIENT!
Luke 21:19 says, in your patience possess ye your soul.
The interpretation of that for a single person is that if
you are patient, you will meet the one whom your soul loves.
Regret nothing, not even your failures. Take in the richness
of only today because to carry any more will only weigh you
down. Do not look backwards.
The moment of absolute certainty over decisions made never
arrives, so make your decision and move on. The Lord has
promised to help with the burdens of today Ask Him to grant
you the wisdom and confidence in making your choices and
the ability to recognize when new decisions need to be made.
“Great things are not done by impulse, but by a ser!
ies of small things brought together.” - Vincent
Van Gogh
Please share this with someone you know so they will not
make a big mistake in their life time decision and regret
what they did. Wait on the Lord with all thine heart and lean
not to thine own understanding but in all thy ways acknowledge
him and he will guide and direct thy path. For what God has
put together let no Man (Woman) put asunder. God bless you
all know that the worst is over and the best is yet to come.
